What It Means to Be an Adult
The only thing that makes you an adult is time.
I've been awake to the flow of consciousness for 35 years, but I didn't start making decisions with true freedom until I was 15, which means I've really had control over my life for 20 years.
If I live to be 100, I have another three 20-year cycles left and a half cycle at the end where I hope I won't need to have control.
My biggest surprise is how positive being an adult is.
Adolescence is such an authentic hell that most music targets that market. The "twenties" are so dangerous, exciting, and painful that television focuses on that stage. The thirties, however, are a pleasure. Like a book.
The problem with being an adult is that it's not something that can be taught. Being an adult isn't about the pain of loss, nor effort, suffering, or sacrifice. A hard life in your youth might make you a better adult, but it doesn't accelerate your adulthood.
The only thing that makes you an adult is time.
Being an adult is seeing your favorite candy brand disappear from stores. It's seeing your parents accept that you're no longer their responsibility and treating you as an equal. It's watching your friends age and their children grow. It's accepting the death of people you love. It's appreciating the life of those close to you.
Being an adult is discovering a type of relationship that is only built with time. A type of love that isn't connected to our bodies but to our minds. A connection of understanding, respect, curiosity, and fascination that goes beyond words and caresses.
Being an adult is work. A lot of work. It happens when you discover how ridiculous the things that tormented you in childhood were. Or how superficial what mattered to you in your 20s was. That point where the arrogance of your youth becomes the humility of how much you still have to grow.
At first, this work helps you see your blind spots. You accept that for some people, you're the villain in their story. You recognize the people you hurt and those who hurt you. The empathy to understand them gives you the humility to accept the past. And by accepting it, you learn.
With luck, you'll be able to let go of your ego, expand your perspective, and discover your potential. The true value of your mind. Your mission in life. Your definition of happiness. You'll know how much you still have to learn and how wonderful and improbable it is to breathe, think, understand, feel, and create.
Your life is a genuine miracle.
If not, it doesn't matter. As long as you have life, you'll have the opportunity. Just remember that it's work. It's the combination of time, introspection, humility, and gratitude.
Remember that it's worth it.